It’s not really fair that this woman should be blessed with such beauty and style and talent and an ethereal voice to boot. Gah. Must purchase this album.
Christina Hendricks
Confession: I do not watch Mad Men. I KNOW, okay? I know. I should, it’s a great show, blah blah blah. I get it. All I’m trying to tell you right now is that I loved Christina Hendricks from the moment she played “Mrs. Reynolds” in Firefly. To see her all gussied up ’50s style, well, that’s just more incentive to keep loving her. She also seems cool and low-key in real life, but I’ll need to do more research to confirm this. This may or may not involve (more) Google image searches.
In food news, I have christened Monday – that most dreaded day of the week – as “Taco Monday” at my house. You know, to make Monday seem more lovable. Tonight I made some delicious tacos, along with a signature beverage, and I will share with you my simple methods, should you care to observe Taco Monday in your own home. As with all of my “recipes,” measurements are approximate. Adjust to suit your own tastes!
Turkey Tacos
1/2 pound ground turkey (I used white meat)
1/4 yellow onion
1/2 large bell pepper (I used red for color)
1 clove garlic
About 1 tbsp canola oil
Ground cumin (comino)
Chili powder
Ground coriander
salt, pepper to taste
Juice of 1/2 small lime
Sautee onion, bell pepper, and garlic in oil until onions are slightly translucent. Add ground turkey, lime juice, and spices to taste until turkey is browned and cooked through. Spoon mixture into toasted taco shells or tortillas. Top with grated cheese (I used sharp cheddar – good flavor with turkey), diced tomatoes, shredded lettuce, avocado (a little salt+pepper on top goes a long way), salsa, and/or whatever your heart desires.
“Monday Spritzer”
1 shot tequila (I used Hornitos)
3 oz (1/2 small can) of Dole pineapple juice
3 oz club soda
Squeeze of lime
Dash of salt
Apparently yesterday’s post about Twitter has attracted a few readers. Like, more readers than I thought my blog would ever attract in my lifetime. So, um, hi everyone! Thanks for stopping by. Please ignore everything I’ve written about Harry Potter and Robert Pattinson. Unless, of course, you’re into those sorts of things.
So, get this: in a cruel, ironic twist of fate that only a spiteful cybergod could conjure, I seem to be having some trouble with my follower/following counts on Twitter. As in, they have been drastically reduced. I think (hope) this is just one of those adorable Twitter glitches and it will soon be fixed. Nevertheless, what a moment for THAT to happen. The girl who’s all, “Hey, I know a thing or two about Twitter!” currently has like, three followers on Twitter. I’m the person I’ve been warning you about!
Just kidding.
I guess this is another good social media lesson: don’t rely on just one platform. Have multiple platforms, so that if one fails you, people can still find you, and you’ll still have an outlet to help you communicate. Look at that! Lemons into lemonade!
Thanks again for visiting! Hopefully my Twitter problem will be resolved soon, and then we can all be Twitter friends (twiends).
Okay, okay. Let’s all just calm down and regroup. Deep breaths, everyone.
Has the year started off well for anyone? I mean, new administration aside, what the hell is going on? I’m feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck, and not in a good way.
Anyway, it’s clear that I’m not very good at this “blogging” thing (“Jogging, or Yogging, it may be a soft ‘j’” – ahaha, oh Will Ferrell*). I can’t keep up the momentum, and I don’t want to rant about the mundane details of my life (although I could and often do, in person. Interested? Text me!). So what I need, Bleeps (quick refresher: amalgam of “blog peeps”), is a raison d’etre. A theme, if you will. Something that will drive me to consistency and is interesting enough to keep people coming back. I will never be as cool and hip as That Austin Girl (fo reals! I know her in person and she is decidedly cool and hip), but I can try to just, you know, be myself, or whatever. Isn’t that what they teach us in school? Or therapy?
So I’m taking suggestions for the direction of this blog. All suggestions are welcome, though I can’t promise I’ll actually ACT on one or any of them. But I’d love to know what YOU, the PEOPLE, would be interested in reading about. Keep in mind that I am horrible at confrontation and averse to unusual or raw food products. You know, in case your suggestions involved picking fights with sushi chefs and chronicling the results.
Also, if anyone knows how to post my Twitter feed on this blog, um, help me. I can’t seem to figure it out.
Oh, yes, I am on Twitter. Apparently I can keep up with an application that only allows 140 characters. Go figure.
*this is a line from Anchorman, and I apologize for quoting it.
1. Dance more. Maybe learn how to dance. Okay, I love dancing. I don’t know if I’m any good at it, but I really enjoy it. Jon and I have talked about taking salsa lessons for forEVer. Perhaps this our year to actually, you know, do that.
2. Use all gift cards instead of putting them in a box and forgetting about them. Seriously. It’s free money. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
3. Stop fantasizing about vampiresRobert PattinsonChristian Bale we’ll just stop right here, because this will never happen.
4. Keep a list of books I read. I tried this one year and lasted for about a month. We’ll see what happens this time around. Good thing I finished all four Twilight books before the start of the year. I’d feel kind of dirty including them on a list. Stipulation: re-readings of Harry Potter books don’t count.
5. Act like a celebrity whenever possible. This could be as small as wearing sunglasses that are too large for my face but pretending I’m okay with it, or as complicated as getting regular facials (hey, I don’t have kids OR a mortgage, shut up). I should also start booking weekend getaways to places like Cabo, or similar (South Padre Island?). But really, this resolution is all about having more confidence, real or imagined, and taking better care of myself. Also, if anyone would like to apply for my (unpaid) personal assistant position, e-mail me! I will make you peanut butter sandwiches. Wait, that would be your job.
6. Brunch more often. And yes, brunch is a verb.
7. Do some form of physical activity at least three times a week. This cliche resolution just has to be on here, as it is every year. Could be combined with resolution #1, if I keep said resolution. Ed. note: Moving fork to mouth does not count as physical activity.
8. Pay more attention to my budget – try to cut spending on unnecessary items. This could directly conflict with resolution #5, but who doesn’t love a challenge!
9. Take time every day to be grateful for what I have and for the people in my life. Aww.
Okay, I couldn’t think of any more. What are yours? Maybe I could steal one from you.
Get the word out. Go to the party. You will not be disappointed. If you are, forget I ever said anything to you about it. But you won’t be. Seriously. Unless you’re dead inside.
1. I’ve noticed that, whenever I’m leaving the apartment for a very short while (say, to run down to my car because I’ve left my cell phone in it), I always turn to my cat and say, “You stay here, I’ll be right back.” As if a) she understands me and b) she weren’t a small, four-legged mammal without opposable thumbs who couldn’t open the door and go anywhere, even if she wanted to.
2. I am now the owner of a tiny $9.00 bottle of Organic All-Natural Madagascar Vanilla Extract, thanks to a careless HEB cashier and the harried customer in front of me. That shit better be good for nine effing dollars.
I think the title of this post speaks for itself. However, I will proceed to the highlights (or lowlights) from the film:
- exploding skulls (rough avg: 2 exploding skulls per 5 minutes of running time).
- Fight Club-wannabe dialogue (complete with jaded/masculine voiceover and requisite soul-crushing office scenes).
- Angelina Jolie’s super intense stare.
- The Loom of Fate. I will not elaborate, save to tell you that it is the most retarded plot device in the history of modern cinema.
- Morgan Freeman saying the word “muthafuckah,” in the way that only an Oscar-winning actor can.
- Animal carcasses.
- Improbable train jumping.
- Thinly veiled attempts to uplift the audience by insulting them.
- James McAvoy’s torso (as previously mentioned, but worth mentioning again).
So if any of that interests you, by all means, spend $8.50. OR you could buy a sandwich tomorrow with that money, enjoy the sandwich because it actually makes sense, and then rent the movie when it comes out on DVD. Or let your girlfriend talk you into watching Risky Business again. Your call.
I kind of wish I was a MommyBlogger. You know. A mommy who blogs.
Apparently, there are many of them. A few are even famous.
I don’t know if they like being called “MommyBloggers” though. Maybe it’s demeaning. Or maybe it’s just too limiting, like, too niche. They don’t blog about being mommies all the time. They are bloggers who just happen to be mommies.
But having kids provides so much blog fodder! And I think, more than anything, I’m jealous of the community. I mean, MommyBloggers have become a cultural force. They’re all, Hey, we’re mommies, but we have feelings, too, that we blog about! And SOMETIMES those feelings aren’t conducive with society’s impossibly high standards for motherhood! SOMETIMES we wanna throw our kids out the window, but we DON’T because that is WRONG and we recognize that! But SOMETIMES we FEEL like it! Also, we want more sex with our lame husbands! Or whoever! Someone cute, though!
At least, that’s what I imagine their collective conscience would say.
So, to recap, I would like to be a MommyBlogger because a) kids are funny/stupid and there’s always something to blog about, and b) the MommyBlogger community is just so awesome.
Of course, the biggest obstacle I’m facing right now is that I don’t have kids. So, technically, I’m not a Mommy, and therefore cannot ethically call myself a MommyBlogger. I have ovaries, and therefore one might assume that I have the potential to become a Mommy. I have a blog. That’s about as far as I’ve gotten.
Full disclosure: I had a blog, years ago, when I was working at a job that required no attention or effort whatsoever. I spent my days surfing the internet and posting mundane stories about stealing toilet paper from the company bathrooms, or whatever crazy things I used to do in my early 20s before I made a living wage. Now I’m in my late 20s and I make more money (so I buy my own toilet paper), but I feel equally as miserable. I wonder, will I ever find true happiness? What IS happiness, after all? Can we attain it, or do we simply chase it all our lives, only to discover that the meaning was in the journey, that our lives cannot be summed up in mere words or feelings?
I have no idea where I was going with that.
Back to my original point. Starting this blog makes very little sense, because if I’m honest with myself, I can admit that I don’t have the energy or sticktoitivness (it’s a word – but should it be hyphenated?) to keep it up. Writing, I mean. To keep up the writing. I almost wrote “righting.” See? I have trouble using the correct words! Clearly, I should not be blogging.
I read several blogs regularly, and I always think to myself, My(self)! These people are so clever and interesting. And then I fancy myself clever and interesting too, which is entirely false and a slightly vain thing to fancy, and I think, I could start a blog that is clever and interesting and then maybe people – strangers, even! – will read it, and I will become beloved and popular and perhaps be offered a book deal!
Hey, it happened for that cat blog, with all the misspelled captions. Those guys are hilarious!
Seriously, though? Seriously, I don’t expect a book deal. I think I might crumple under the pressure if it happened (but don’t let that stop you, Penguin/Random House/HarperCollins! I’m right here!). I don’t handle pressure well. Or anything that doesn’t involve Milanos and watching reruns of Friends on my couch.
